You learn fast when everything breaks down
You learn fast when that's all that you can do
You learn fast or nothing

Today was slow. Today was repetative. Today was like every other fucking day. Every song sounds the same. Every smile looks the same.

People are boring.

People never change.

I spent most of today in my bed with a pounding headache watching what was happening outside. It was nice watching the clouds, the birds flying past. Somtimes I wish I could be a bird, To be free without any complications. In the sky, you can be free.

I've always wanted Wings tattooed on my back. As soon as I'm 16, I'll get them done. They represent many things to me. Birth, Flight, Freedom, Thoughts and Spirituality.

Freedom. Such a wonderful word. However it causes so much shit in this 'life'.

I also spent a great deal of today thinking. What I want to do when I leave school, friendships, jobs etc. I need to buck up at school to get what I want when I'm older.  Things aren't all that peachy with me at the moment.

I fear my friendships and Relationship that i've created with my bare hands will fall apart in front of me. No amount of sellotape and temporary repairs will fix what is already broken. Its the story of my life. I fear that i'm slowly becoming a failure in general. I try my best to put a smile on peoples faces, when in reality, i'm slowly eroding my lips with the false grin i'm constantly putting on display. I just wish I could be honest with someone for a change.

People rely on me to solve their problems. Okay, i'm used to listening to people. I enjoy giving advice and being a source for others. But to load me with all your problems when i'm already submerged makes me uneasy to help. People need to learn to help themselves somtimes.

I've been many people these few years. Its time to change.

Goodbye truth.

Hello denial.

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Sometimes I feel
I live like a prisoner
But I don't know
If this really is pressure
Surprise you win
I'm lost as screamers roll in
Sometimes I feel
Like leaving this room I'm in

Faded film people dropping words
About the real things to say
? (Not "Someone pulls me deeper", as in CD booklet)
And tells me who I will be if I stay
A clever machine writes pretty words
For pretty boys
To sing to us all
We're all so grateful

My face you cry
And I show my darker side
The night is yours
And I just switch off and hide
Cafe and sin
The wine's not to my liking
My face you cry
Oh my didn't I say come in?

Frown (?) in my eyes showing nothing
But surprise about you
And what are you thinking
About my life and her drinking to you too
A dying non-human writes unkind words
For unkind friends
And as for the tears, they'll never show
Asylum people calling on my door
From day to day
The image must fall
I've had my time