I had no idea what happened.

I'm loosing control of my body. Loosing control of my thoughts and Loosing control of my actions. Lack of Sleep, Lack of Time, Lack of care. Its all adding up one after another.

Expo shall be a release for me. Time with Brian will be nice.

It was fun braiding stuff into Adams hair earlier. Though I felt weird being near him haha. Just one of those days. Felt faint, sat down, then woke up on my side hah. No idea how that happened, then nearly threw up. I didnt feel like me at that point. It was weird.

Now I'm just tired and feeling sick. 

I'm addicted to Painkillers. I'm addicted to Tablets. Addicted to one-hit wonders. Its these pills that'll kill me some day. These pills that'll cure me.

Its all so disgusting. I hate anything slightly sexual. I hate kissing, I hate hugging, I hate holding hands, I hate saying 'I love you'. Its all so fucking over-rated these days.

I want to forget who I am. Forget those around me.

I'm Paige Fionola Holmes Deacon.
15 Years old.
I like Japanese Culture and Video Games
I like to Read and Draw.
I like piercings and bright hair colours
I prefer the dark.
I enjoy sleeping.



From these foundations, I'll re-create myself. Everyone else is just holding me up. Perhaps this illness is a calling card. To sortmyself out or drop dead. 

For now I must go to bed and write.